Vanity

I've put off journaling about this experience because it just makes me depressed. :(

After each time I gave birth, a growth appeared on one of my legs randomly--not a mole or wart, just a raised red bump. Annoying. The one on in the inside of my left knee was the most raised, largest, and quite noticeable. I nicked it all the time shaving and any time my toddlers sat on my lap when I was wearing shorts, they would press on it all the time (which hurt!). My boys all knew how much I hated it. 10 years ago, I paid $200 to have it shaved off... then it grew back. When I went back, the dermatologist told me the only other solution would be to cut it out which would leave a crappy scar. So I left it.

Fast forward 10 years, and it still really bothered me. I decided to get a second opinion on removing it. So when I went to a new dermatologist to have my moles checked, I asked him if he would be willing to remove this bump on my knee. He said he would do it. After they reported back about cost/insurance, I laid back in the chair and the dermatologist and nurse got to work with numbing and cutting it out. The nurse did lots of numbing shots, and I couldn't feel the doctor cutting it out aside from some pressure. As the dermatologist was stitching me up, I wished I had grabbed my book that was 3 feet away from me so that I could have a distraction. I could feel the dermatologist pulling the string taught and the nurse wiping up blood. After the 4th stitch of 5, I felt the same spidery feeling moving up my chest like when I donated blood in February. I told the nurse that I thought I was going to faint and then blacked out. The dermatologist woke me up with smelling salts--wow that stuff is strong!--then nurses put ice packs on me as he finished stitching up my knee. The only instructions I was given for care were to use vaseline and bandaids over the stitches and not to get them wet for the first 24 hours.

I sat in the office for awhile trying to regain my equilibrium with nurses checking on me every 5 minutes. I felt so embarrassed that I fainted. This woman who did natural childbirth for 3 out of 4 of her babies can't even get some stitches without fainting. Lame. About 15 minutes later, I tried standing up, got dressed, then went to pick up Austin from my sister-in-law. I was so nervous about driving because I didn't feel 100%. I said a little prayer then took off. When I got home with Austin without incident, I felt queasy and threw-up in the sink. I told Austin that Mommy didn't feel well and asked if we could lay down together and read some books. I didn't make it through the second book before I couldn't keep my eyes open. Austin was such a sweetheart and played quietly in his room (where I read books to him) and in the game room while I caught a short nap. Just as in February after fainting, the nap seemed to do the trick to get me feeling better.

I was careful to follow all instructions given. Nothing was mentioned about exercise, so Matt and I played tennis that night, but I took it easy and didn't chase down anything that was too strenuous. I went out on my normal Thursday run but again made sure to take it easy. My stitches felt fine! Friday I didn't exercise, and Saturday I set out on my long run and actually had my best run in months! 8 miles at a 7:43 pace. I was stoked and my knee felt fine. Knowing what I know now, this run is probably what initiated the infection because I was definitely quite sweaty when I came back. Wednesday night tennis and my Thursday morning run both were cooler temperatures, and I didn't sweat a lot--but it's possible these two activities played into the infection as well. Sunday was Easter Sunday and my knee felt fine. I showed off the stitches to any of my nieces and nephews that wanted to see them. Monday morning, I set off to do a run and could feel more pain around my stitches. Previous exercising hadn't bothered me, so I pushed through it. Tuesday morning, the pain was more intense so I cut my run short. Throughout the day, I was limping and getting very concerned. Tuesday night I did some research online and felt it was likely that I had an infection. I texted this picture to my sister-in-law and brother, both nurses, to get their opinions.

They agreed that it was infected--inflamed, tender to the touch, painful to put my weight on that leg. I texted the same picture to my dermatologist first thing the next morning. A nurse called me back to report that the dermatologist said it is not infected but then proceeded to tell me that he called in an oral and topical antibiotic for me to pick up. I actually had to ask the nurse to back up and say that again. "The dermatologist says it's not infected but still prescribed antibiotics? I'm confused." She relayed to me that this is normal healing and the reason the dermatologist said it wasn't infected is because I didn't have a fever and it was not oozing pus. I've had plenty of staph infections and was pretty certain that something bigger was going on than just normal healing, plus I had my nurse family backing me up. But I was just happy that he let me email him a picture instead of an office visit and that he prescribed the medication.

The next morning, it started oozing pus. Hmmm. Still think it's not infected oh wise dermatologist? It hurt something fierce. The pain did lessen each day but was intense enough that I was still limping around for the next few days. Kneeling was out of the question.

(notice the puckering on the ends, perhaps seen better in the first picture, as I'll mention this later in the post)

When I went to my 2 week appointment to have the stitches removed, I was very concerned because the infection was still present. The red circle around the stitches was smaller but had stayed at a constant size and hadn't lessened in 3 days. It was still very tender to the touch. My brother warned me that lancing and restitching it was a possibility at this appointment in order to get the rest of the infection out. 

The nurse came in to remove the stitches, and I asked to speak to the dermatologist first and have him look at it. He examined it and said he didn't have to lance it and removing the stitches would be fine; the infection would continue to go away with the antibiotics. I tried to keep any accusatory tone out of my voice when I asked him why I was given no instruction about not exercising since that was what likely caused the infection. He said that exercise was NOT the cause and that it was probably just a reaction to the stitches. Then I asked him if it was okay for me to exercise after the stitches were removed. He said that it would be a good idea to take a week off of exercise to let it heal completely. Oh really? It seemed to me that the dermatologist was trying to appear like he cared but was actually pretty dismissive. When I mentioned that I took pictures of my leg throughout the week to record the amount of pus and size of the red circle surrounding the stitches, it wasn't for a few minutes later that it seemed to occur to him that he should probably look at the pictures in an attempt to appear thorough. 

After he left, the nurse cut the stitches out, which hurt like the devil because there was still an infection and she was pulling and tugging. All I could think to myself was, "Please don't faint when the stitches are removed. You can be a big girl!"

On Saturday I was on my last day of antibiotics and still wasn't sure the infection was completely gone. I approached an orthopedic surgeon in my ward nervously because I didn't want to take advantage of his time. (He is also in the bishopric.) I asked him if he could examine it and let me know whether the infection was fully gone and if I needed more antibiotics.

When I got done sharing my woes, he said that he wished I would have come to him for recommendations for a dermatologist. The one I used, very conveniently located, had messed up on other people in the ward as well. Two of my friends had given me positive recommendations about this dermatologist though! My doctor friend continued rattling off things that would have been red flags to him--schooling, location, and the fact that he used a circle punch to cut out the growth. This is an outdated practice as I know now, because when you sew a circle into a straight line, it creates a puckering at the ends of the line of stitches. The correct method now is to use an elliptical, which sews together so much nicer. I guess I'm pretty naïve and just assume that if a doctor or dermatologist is practicing that he/she has the training and knows what to do.

My doctor friend continued to tell me that the infection was definitely caused by sweat during exercise. He tells most all his patients to take 2 weeks off of exercising, depending on where the stitches are, in order to allow for healing. There is probably some common sense with the no exercise part, and perhaps I should have known better. In my defense, I've never had stitches before and neither have any of my boys aside from my oldest having two stitches in his lip. (He wasn't told not to exercise or move his mouth too much etc.!) Running is a big part of my life. I run 4 days a week no matter what--I always find a way to work around the weather. (The exception to that is when I'm on vacation I can't always find a way to fit in my running, but I typically do!) I ran all throughout my pregnancies even though doctors don't recommend that; I just listened to my body and stopped and walked more often as needed in the last trimester. Those little 5 stitches didn't seem like something that should keep me from my exercise.

Finally, my friend said that he disagreed with the antibiotic that the dermatologist prescribed as well. Because the dermatologist took the stitches out with the infection still present, the wound opened up over the course of the next few days too which will make the scarring worse. Basically, what I assumed was a fairly simple procedure went wrong in many ways.

In summary, here are the lessons learned from this experience:

1) I am too vain and probably should have left the red bump alone to begin with

2) You can't trust that everyone in the medical field is most qualified. There are mediocre doctors out there.

A friend shared this joke: "What do they call the person who graduates last in medical school? Doctor."

I don't have a before picture, and this picture of one of my other red bumps doesn't do the one I had removed justice which was larger and quite a bit more raised.

Wound reopened

The way the scar looks now is worse than the initial red bump. The scar will continue to be less red and flatter, but definitely won't be the thin line I wanted and hoped for. Ugh.

The other part that was horrible about the experience was the bandaids. I tried a few different types of bandaids and rotated which way I turned them etc., but the skin around the wound was so tender for those two weeks with stitches due to the stupid bandaids. (I did start taking the nights off from bandaids to let the surrounding skin breathe.)

And thus ends the sad tale of my vanity...